Personal Reflections: Surfing, Surrender, and Soul
January 14, 2017
I just returned from the salon, and after listening to
myself ramble to my hairstylist about the turbulent ride
these last 10 weeks have been, I feel both spent and surprised
to have survived the dizzying twists and turns.
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Deadlines.
Disappointments.
Mistakes.
Home renovation.
Holidays & Hosting.
Anxiety.
Know how I have been coping with life's bumpy ride?
(No, no, not like a playa and not like a girlboss either...
even though playas and girlbosses are lovely.)
Like a surfer.
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| Photo: Michele - Hello Lovely Studio |
a surfing competition on Oahu's North Shore.
It's my happy place.)
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| The Arizona Fixer Upper...a new Happy Place |
when the roaring waves roll in..even the ones
gnarly enough to claim you.
Because you learn you can ride gnarly waves.
You can.
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significant on my surfing journey in the past year.
I learned them from a wise teacher.
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| Mixed media collage - Hello Lovely Studio |
Relax and cooperate.
To do this demands a letting go, a surrender,
and a gentle opening of hands and soul.
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formed clenched fists whenever fear or anxiety surfaced.
I don't think I viewed this response as unhealthy.
Just a harmless reaction, I thought.
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It was only when I began to unfurl the fear from
these fingers in a vulnerable
and surrendered posture to receive,
that I began to awaken to a hidden wholeness.
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to the sky more often, I found that my capacity
to feel love and compassion was expanding.
Is this not a precious treasure to discover
in the second half of life!?!
There was indeed violence in my tightly held fists.
Directed inward.
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stay-at-home-gypsy wired for words
more than I do a wave-loving-surfer-sage.
But there is surfing going on over here
in the land-locked heartland, brah.
Also gratitude.
For waves, for transformation,
for the gift of awakening to new realms.
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you'll transmit it, and I know he's right.
In fact, pain can be recycled beautifully
if we allow it to have its way with us.
Kindness too!
So when I open these hands now, I let go.
Of attachments.
Of fear.
Of my need for approval and acceptance.
I let go of the old agenda,
and suddenly a new spaciousness
takes hold.
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It's an ongoing endeavor, of course.
I keep falling asleep, keep clinging,
and keep forgetting to open my hands.
And I'll never truly arrive, even with striving
(which is totally a relief if you ask me).
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But what might lie ahead with
metaphorical surfing practice, living out
two un-sexy words--relax and cooperate--
when the seas are stormy?
Do you suppose even bumpy roads
can somehow become a beautiful
deep blue ocean of waves?
Peace to you right where you are.
9 comments
It is as if you put into words what i have been trying to mentally manage Michele. These words are so effective with life spinning by at warp speed and with palms up, I thank you my dear friend.
ReplyDeletethank you for reading and joining me, friend. xox
Delete"I am keenly aware I still resemble a
ReplyDeletestay-at-home-gypsy wired for words
more than I do a wave-loving-surfer-sage."
Me, too...
keep calm and surf on, sister. xox
DeleteSo beautifully said, Michelle! Surrender is a beautiful thing and leads to all sorts of blessings which you so gracefully demonstrate. Keep writing, my friend, I think it's what you were born to do!
ReplyDeletehahaha. i'm writing as fast as i can and don't think i could write much more...have you ever googled my name, friend? hahahaha
DeleteThis was so beautiful and spoke to me so deeply. THANK YOU!
ReplyDeletethanks for the kindness, teresa. xox
DeleteThis really speaks to me. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteYour comments add to the beauty...thanks in advance for your kindness.